Over the 90 minutes, neutrals in attendance at Dempsey Field on Saturday afternoon, would have had difficulty establishing which team was which in this top versus bottom clash.

Hollandse played their hearts out over the course of the match, while Hotspurs were lack-lustre throughout. The highlight of the second half, according to the humorous wag compiling the match ‘minutes’ on the sidelines, was, “85 mins. – getting dark – lots of flies about.”

This was not a great Hotspurs performance, by any stretch of the most vivid imagination, and we let Hollandse dictate play for more of the game than was healthy.

Having taken the lead on 16 minutes (excellent through ball from David, great control and shot from Marko), we almost immediately allowed our opponents back into the game, and allowed them to score their first goal of the season.

Ball over the top; hesitation in the back-line; it’s beginning to sound eerily familiar. So in case any of our future opponents are reading this…the Dutch goal came from a marauding and severely dislocated bald eagle that happened to be passing, and, mistaking the ball for a nice juicy ostrich egg, picked it up in its beak, and deposited it in the back of the net that, immediately before, it had made a mental note of to use as a shopping bag.

Let’s face it; there’s no way you can defend against that.

Hotspurs managed to go in to the break 2-1 up thanks to a long ball from Bruce, an assist at the far post (Jorg…?), and a rare header from Anis, who went in bravely (flying in the face of the Dutch keeper – imitating the eagle from earlier) to glance home. It was probably more than the Hotspurs deserved after a first half performance that was disjointed and, sorry ref, more than a little bit ‘half-arsed’.

The second period started off much more brightly with the Spurs playing some decent football – chastened no doubt by the Gaffer’s half-time rant, and plenty of screaming children who had watched the first half and were hoping that the eagle would make a reappearance.

While it grew dark, and the flies made their presence felt, a Hollandse player was given a straight red for a despicable, two footed, both feet off the ground, lunge from behind, and David received a second yellow for trying to take the law into his own hands and remonstrating with the aforementioned.

It was a stupid tackle that could have done considerable damage. It was also premeditated, and everyone could see it coming except the unfortunate soul who had his back to the transgressor.

As an experienced footballer (very very experienced) David should have known better than to get involved, and deserved his second yellow for the ‘afters’. It was the only remotely nasty moment in 90 minutes of football, and didn’t characterise the game. It’s clear that the Hollandse player felt aggrieved at not being given a penalty seconds before, but it was a mean-spirited challenge at best, and a very poor response.

The last action of the match saw Jorg curl in a sublime free-kick from all of 30 yards, to see Hotspurs emerge as 3-1 winners. This may all sound very negative, so it must be said that Hotspurs defended well in the second half, refusing to allow Hollandse back in to the game, and limiting our opponents to a couple of long range shots and not much else.

Not the best performance of the season, and certainly not the best. That’s not a typo. Credit to the ref who handled the game well and got very little wrong – Hollandse may not agree. There could have been no arguments with the red cards, and I don’t think there were.

It’s difficult to believe that Hollandse remain anchored to the bottom of the table in light of the way they played and the spirit they showed. We wish you luck for the rest of the season.